Fundamental Skills, Chapter 3, "Responding With Empathy"

As important as listening to the client is, it is equally important to know how to respond to them.  Responding in an empathic way builds the relationship with the client by letting them know that you hear and understand what they are saying and how they are feeling.

Reaching For Feelings
A client may tell you about an event without mentioning how they feel about said event.  Sometimes they may have trouble identifying exactly what it is that they are feeling.  Reaching for their feelings means bringing the conversation to a more emotional level by helping them talk about their feelings.  If a client's feelings seem to be near the surface, as an open-ended question to get them to open up about them.

Dealing With Silences
Do not let silence make you uncomfortable or anxious.  Sometimes the client needs a few minutes to think about what they are feeling.  You will usually get cues from the client as to what they are feeling (tears, facial expression, posture), but if it is unclear what they are feeling - ask.

Acknowledging Feelings
You can help your client feel less alone and more understood by acknowledging their feelings.  Start by making a statement about their feelings.  This let's them know that you understand.  Next, validate their feelings by stating how you can understand them feeling this way.  This let's them know that their feelings are acceptable and valid.  Finally, let the client know that what they are feeling is normal, and that they are not weird or crazy for feeling this way.

Articulating Feelings
Communicate empathy to the client by letting them know that you can imagine how it must feel to be in their shoes.  This communicates understanding.  There is no way that you can "know" how another person feels because everyone is different, but you can imagine how you might feel under their circumstances.  Never try to tell a client what they "should" feel.

For more information on how to respond to clients with empathy read the article:  "Listening and Empathic Responding."

How would you empathically respond to a statement with which you cannot relate whatsoever?

Women's Rights

Do women have equal rights with men in the United States?  Yes and no.  All 50 states have legislation that prohibits discrimination based on sex, but the Constitution of the United States does not protect women from sex discrimination.  In 1920, the 19th Amendment to the constitution was ratified which guaranteed women the right to vote, but that's as far as it goes.  In 1923, a woman named Alice Paul introduced the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA), which would have guaranteed equal rights for women and prohibited discrimination based on sex.  The ERA was finally passed by congress in 1972, and sent to the states to be ratified...but it never was.  Only 35 of the 38 states needed actually ratified it.

So why is this important?  If every state has laws that protect women's rights, why do we need a constitutional amendment to that end?  Laws can easily be changed or completely overturned, that's why.  Also, by making an amendment to the constitution it becomes the supreme law of the land, able to be upheld by the highest court in the country - the Supreme Court.  Furthermore, what kind of message does it send to young girls and women that their state doesn't feel that it is important to secure their rights for generations to come?

For more information on this topic visit www.equalrightsamendment.org, a project of the Alice Paul Institute.

Something to think about:  The states that have refused to ratify the ERA are all predominately right-wing republican states.  Could their unwillingness to ratify the ERA be tied to their apparent desire to control women's bodies and strip them of their own bodily autonomy (i.e., birth control, abortion, rape sentencing etc.)?